


A Funeral Keeps Both of Us Apart

by deanlosechester



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, M/M, Post-Civil War (Marvel), this is probably really bad WHATEVER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:44:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanlosechester/pseuds/deanlosechester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers had died on the rainy steps of a courthouse without Bucky by his side. He wasn’t coming back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Funeral Keeps Both of Us Apart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ourdivineashes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourdivineashes/gifts).



Arlington National Cemetery was a maze of white tombstones and miniature American Flags surrounded by thousands of people in funeral black. Bucky Barnes stood in front of them all, staring down at the empty grave that would shortly hold Captain America.

Bucky clenched his hands and closed his eyes, felt Sam gripping his shoulder to ground him. 

“Stay with us,” Sam murmured, squeezing his shoulder. Bucky nodded.

When Wolverine approached him that morning with the notion that maybe Steve didn’t really die--that they’d both been presumed dead more than once and returned, defying all odds--Bucky had wanted to believe him. The irrational part of him wanted to run straight to the funeral home and open an empty casket. But Bucky Barnes was not an irrational man.

Steve Rogers had died on the rainy steps of a courthouse without Bucky by his side. He wasn’t coming back.

He was out on a mission with Natasha when he’d gotten the call.

_“Agent Barnes, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Captain Rogers…”_

He didn’t hear anything beyond that. He’d held the satellite phone out to Natasha with trembling hands and sank to the floor, trying to remember how to breathe. Natasha had hung up silently and knelt down beside him, reached out to touch his shoulder, and for the first time since he was a child, Bucky Barnes cried. He shook with the force of it, letting out roaring sobs and by the time he’d stopped he couldn’t even speak anymore. They abandoned the mission immediately and headed back to the States.

He stared at the flag draped over Steve’s casket, stars and stripes blurring in his vision. His eyes didn’t waver throughout the entire service; he stared at the American flag during the useless prayers, stared at the flag as he loaded the blank cartridge into his M16 for the three-volley salute. Stared at the flag while the musician played Taps, stared at the flag while thousands of people wept for a man they didn’t even know. 

An officer touched his elbow and leaned in, asking him to sit down for the flag folding and presentation. He did as he was told and looked over at Stark, silently daring him to look back up at him so he would know that he held the blame in Bucky’s eyes. Tony didn’t even glance up at him, just stared at the ground, hands clenched around a flask; no one bothered to take it away from him. 

A young soldier knelt in front of Bucky then, holding out the American flag, its red-and-white stripes folded covertly underneath a sea of blue. 

“This flag is presented on behalf of the grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.”

He took the flag from the soldier and placed it in his lap, hands resting gently on top of it. This flag would never fly again. 

The funeral ended with a tearful amen from the chaplain, and people filed out of the cemetery, ready to move on with their lives. Bucky wanted to turn to them and scream, _Where are you going? There’s no world to go back to._

Instead he sat there and stared as they began shoveling dirt into Steve’s grave. 

“Bucky?”

He looked up into Natasha’s red-rimmed eyes and tried to smile. 

“Are you ready to go?”

He told her no, he wanted to stay a while longer, because he knew that even if he walked away, a part of him would never leave this cemetery. 

She nodded and left arm-in-arm with Sam, calling back that she’d come get him when he was ready, knowing he never would be.

Bucky sat in silence for what felt like years, the weight of the flag he held in his lap bearing down on him like a ton of lead. He watched the gravediggers bury his heart and wanted to let them bury his body right along with it. 

Hours passed in silence, and Bucky didn’t notice the shield leaning against a nearby tombstone until he finally stood to leave.

He walked over to it and curled his fingers around the edge of the shield, metal on metal. He’d held Steve’s shield many times, used it to kill and to protect, just as Steve did, and muscle memory led the way as he picked it up and slung it over his shoulder. Bucky looked back at Steve’s grave, and for a moment, he thought he saw Steve standing there as he was before Bucky left for the army--too-big clothes and a sideways smile reserved only for him, black eye from a fight--not the Captain America the world had grown to love. That he, too, had grown to love, just as he had with the Steve-that-was. 

Steve nodded and Bucky nodded back, tears sliding down his cheeks as the image faded away and he was once again alone. 

Pulling the shield off of his back, Bucky realized that Wolverine was right; Captain America wasn’t dead after all.

**Author's Note:**

> my first steve/bucky anything ever, and it's probably really bad, but i wanted to write it for my roommate melanie
> 
> this takes place shortly after the "civil war: the death of captain america" storyline. the conversation between bucky and wolverine actually happened, and it was very sad. 
> 
> i know that steve was technically in the ssr but since there was no description of ssr funeral protocol, i went with the army because that's where he originally started out
> 
> buuuut yeah, hope y'all liked it and were briefly sad.
> 
> title is from brand new's play crack the sky


End file.
